AAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH so no bloody chemo session number 5 for me today as my white blood cells are unbelievably low. I kind of knew this going in there today as I had been feeling so exhausted the past week or so. Uff. I now have to wait until next Wednesday. This is not acceptable. I have to plan my life, my family's life around this ridiculous illness anyway and it is Madion's birthday coming up and I had to bring it a week forward as it was and now the whole time plan is out of sync. I am so angry. I had a complete Verruca Salt moment at the oncology department this afternoon, eyes filled with angry tears after they told me and had to physically stop myself from stamping my feet in frustration!!!!! Is it not enough that I have to endure this shitty cancer and the treatment that goes with it. I do it without complaining and with grace most of the time, the least it can do is respect me and my family.
There is not much I can do for a low white blood count. I have to wait. Normal range is between 150-450 and mine at round 4 (2 weeks ago) was 108 and today it is 74. According to Google, when you have a low white blood count you must not do any dangerous full contact sport, so no cage fighting for me this week - although I feel as though I could go head to head with myself right now - I feel disappointed, angry and frustrated with myself, although I know it is the one thing I have no control over and that frustrates the hell out of me.
OK rant over. Come on you Whites, we need a back of the net moment next week !!!!!
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